First of all I think there is no right or wrong way of how to bring up your family it is a rollercoaster for everyone and we always do what we think is the right thing at the time. Even if it turns out to be the wrong thing down the line. We are only human, Life does seem to slip through your fingers so quickly as you get older. And being a mum to two teenagers seems so unreal I can remember when they were babies, Now they are growing up into young adults not so dependent on mum anymore living their own little lives its got to be so tough on them these days with social media and the internet as there is so much peer pressure why can’t we just live in a normal world where everyone is excepted for who they are. Im asking for too much I know but I can live in hope right.
They always told me kids get harder as they get older they were not wrong its different problems that are not easy to solve when you have to stand back and let your kids try and figure life out for themselves, when they were babies they were so dependent on you to do everything thats what being a mum was and now our role has kind of flipped as you are trying to prepare them for the world and to make them strong independent adults. So standing back whilst they make mistakes is the hardest thing that I have found, don’t get me wrong I still help them but let them try for themselves first, you don’t stop caring and you don’t stop trying to protect them but the way I see it I’m not going to be on this earth forever and I would want them to be strong with me watching not when I’m not here and then them to struggle.
Teenagers don’t think they need you anyway so the more you are in their face they seem to push you away and then thats where the arguments start, and believe me I find this the hardest because all you want to do is look after them. This feeling makes me feel like I’m not needed anymore which is not the case just my kids changing and growing up.
So this is still looking after them but in another way I see it as I’m teaching them to stand on their own two feet and to make decisions on what they think is right I’ve taught both my two whats right from wrong from day one all you can do is hope they make the right choices, don’t get me wrong I’ve always said you have to make mistakes to learn in this world it is the way we deal with them that counts admitting your wrong is hard but you have to be able to do that to be able to move on we all make mistakes but dealing with it is an important life lesson.
Treat people how you want to be treated is such an important true saying.
When they get older and have their own lives I hope they will know I’ve done what I thought was the right thing at the time and they will understand.
Im so proud of how my two are growing up but it is not easy being a mum to any child so you need to just keep telling yourself you are doing the best you can.
Love Claire x